Homeschoolers Boycott Big Candy
All across the nation, homeschoolers are realizing the effects of big candy on society, and very wisely opting out. Instead of buying their candy in bulk from stores, they are retreating to their basements and kitchens to concoct their own. The big candy backlash has found its way into even the most liberal of homeschool households, including the home of homeschool mom Cindy Smith.
“We just don't want the big candy getting our money,” Smith said. “So after the kids finish watching Harry Potter tonight, we're going to make our very own batman candies from scratch. We'll even make a few vampires and witches.” The conservative staff of the Winnipagan found it difficult to nod along with this atrocity, but managed to get out unscathed.
A few more conservative representatives were contacted, including homeschool dad Ryan O'Conner.
“My mom would always make doughnuts growing up,” O'Conner said. “Now, I like to make some good old candied apples with the kids. Then we eat them outside on the step and talk to each other.”
He added, “When we boycott big candy, it really makes everything better. And besides, we can then also boycott big dentistry.”
Sources told us that the reason only a select few homeschoolers don odd garments and collect candy this time of year has nothing to do with objections to halloween; just a strong dislike of big candy. You be the judge.
